According to Zach...

"A pet is NOT a secret agent. Just so you know."

"I'm pretty sure the place Uncle Adam is going to has a secret lab"

"I've got good news and bad news and the bad news is that there's no good news today"

"I suppose you can try to fix it Mom, but you're just a girl"

"Mom, I think you should have another baby. A girl this time so Sam has a girlfriend"